I’m 26 and I’ve never taken the time to be single. While I’m happy and fulfilled now, in my past I’ve succumbed into being a weak, under-appreciated woman. What I can offer to you reading this is an ode to self care.<I’ve been listening to Solange this week> Never let someone shatter your confidence, steal your joy or disrupt your peace. Always remain strong, resilient, and focused.
Accepting less than what you deserve, turning a blind eye to the BS, always offering your last but never getting a thank you in return… That’s not love, that’s mental abuse. Stop being a ride or die and embrace being a drive and live. I know I may be coming off as preachy but trust me, I know the woes of loving someone more than you love yourself. I spent 4 years being the chick described in the rap songs rather than being the queen described in the Motown jams.
I’m offering these gems because sometimes as women we don’t want to confide in our friends because we feel like they are being judge-y haters. Furthermore I would think to myself, “Who wants to be lonely like them?”. Seriously though, why have friends then? I wish I would’ve listened to my friends so I could be thriving and at peace like them. I now understand that what they were offering was honesty and love.
Now I have the responsibility of raising my daughter to protect herself. It’s such a huge responsibility for her to see her mother achieve goals, carry herself with respect and to never beg a man to love her the way she deserves. I never want to get calls from her saying her boyfriend has wrecked her car or can she borrow money to bail a good for nothing degenerate out so I must start implanting seeds within her. I have accepted that challenge knowing that I am beautiful and capable and I will continue to be successful and strive for more.